It was the realization that she had actually always been this depressed. That Bella had always been this lost, yet still yield the ability to maintain some level of joy with herself.
There was a pretty good chance that her station in life may never change. All she had was the small hope that one day far from the present and this situation, time will have placed enough distance that these moments would be far from her.
Bella sat alone, again, in Nose’s living room longing for the future. The future where all this was a long faded memory with no feeling attached outside of the brief glimpse of what she felt now.
Bella promised herself peace. She promised to take better care of her life. All she had to do was endure this and com out the other side.
All she had to was cut another string in the disentanglement of Bella and Linus.
So she did.