It was the need for him to acknowledge her. To look at her, address her. Anything. She clawed for that Maybe. “maybe” he would look at her and she would … Continue reading Maybe
Tag: memories
Thirds and Fourths
The worst about thing being this far down the rabbit hole of depression for Bella was the fact that she was more likely to daydream on the things she believed … Continue reading Thirds and Fourths
Nose
He left her alone. Sadly it took longer than it should have for her to realize it, he was leaving her alone. Everyday for as long as he could. Avoidance, … Continue reading Nose
No Love No Help
It was a gray day. The kind that just killed the spirit after a long ass winter. And it had been a long ass winter Bella had thought to herself. … Continue reading No Love No Help
Universal Lessons
How the fuck was this real? How was it not? Bella could not imagine life being any other way. She had spent so much time living this way and watching … Continue reading Universal Lessons
Dark Waters and Endless Fires
She just felt so fucking unheard. As the old saying goes “her words fell on deaf ears”. It was as though she was screaming under water. The depths were thick … Continue reading Dark Waters and Endless Fires
The Wall
It wasn’t that she didn’t clean, it wasn’t that she couldn’t clean. Normally she had a pristine and tidy home. Those feelings though… She knew what they were, even if … Continue reading The Wall
Dang Good Date
It had been a long time since Bella had gone on a date and she didn’t know what to expect.
When the toymaker picked her up they made idle chit chat all the way to the restaurant.
He let her choose. She showed him one of her favorite spots. Best pho you could find around.
They shut that place down. Best conversation of her life. Bella had never laughed so freely and from the belly like that in her life.
He was kind and funny. Witty line Bella and appreciated her dark humour. His lips were soft and his eyes for only her. Bella didn’t realize it yet but there was a calm settling in her soul that would make life feel easy for a change.
His voice was smooth and clear and lively, just like his eyes. It was something Bella didn’t even know she’d been looking for.
They complimented each other in the best of ways.
When they kissed that night, for a brief moment the world stopped and all sound ceased.
It was magnificent.
With that kiss another string disintegrated in the disentanglement of Bella and Linus.
The Curse of Serendipity
The clouds floating over her head as the storm rolled in. It was a good relflection of how Bella was feeling about the last year. She wasn’t sure what was worse, that she knew she would feel this way or the can’t that…..
She always stopped there. Because she wasn’t sure finish that sentence. All Bella wanted was someone she could tell her secret to because it was eating her alive. The overwhelming fucking regret some days was enough to bring her to her knees.
And she wasn’t even sure why she felt this way or why she felt this way.
Well that’s what she told herself. But Bella knew. She couldn’t forgive herself for watching her heart walk away that day.
Of course at the time she didn’t m is she was. She had no idea that particular hug was to be the last, or that particular kiss was the last she would taste his sweet lips or feels his strong arms around her. That she was to never see that smile that made her heart jump ever again.
The Toymaker was her person. She stumbled upon him at The Boundary and it was like no other before. The world has stopped and when it started again, everytjimg about them fell together almost flawlessly. There was a comfort she had never known. He adored her for exactly who she was.
When they were together the weight she carried felt lighter. She felt peace like she had never even imagined was possible for her. Her soul rested with him.
And she could tell, she could feel it was the same for him.
And unknowingly, that day at least, she let him go.
With his departure, he took a piece of Bella. A piece she would forever feel the absence of.
In this particular situation it had been his arrival in her life that had cut away a string in the disentanglement of Bella and Linus.
The Jaded Truth
It took a year, a long year of happy and sad and struggle and joy. Oh, the struggle. But she finally knew, Bella finally had her answer.
The question; “had she made the right choice?”
Now she knew.
No.
She had gone against a feeling so strong she could feel it in her soul and it was eating her alive.
It fervently ate another string in the disentanglement of Bella and Linus.
The Misadventures of the Late Mz. R.E. 