on a last minute whim Bella ran out the door and made her way to the pub. it was the peak of summer and everyone was out. the air was … Continue reading Blues and Beards
Instead of leaving this time, he brought the party to her. As she sat in Nose’s living room, she got a front seat view of what Linus had been leaving … Continue reading Fat Guru
Bella watched the world around her continue to grow and get on just fine despite this fuckery that was her life currently. How… no why did she continue to put … Continue reading Do not Disturb
“How the fuck did I end up here again?” Bella thought to herself. She was sitting on Nose’s couch, cried out and exhausted. He had left her stranded in one … Continue reading Full Circle
He said he was going to look for a job. It was later than usual, but not too late to cause her any real concern. Isn’t that always the way. … Continue reading Merry New Year
A shitty person once said “someone has to be the janitor because not everyone can be rich” Bella didn’t want to be rich, she just wanted to be okay. to … Continue reading For Love or Money
He pops in and out, random moments when she least expects. almost like the memory of a deceased loved one. He’s not dead though, just gone. he can be seen … Continue reading All Smoke, No Mirrors
It had been a long time since Bella had gone on a date and she didn’t know what to expect.
When the toymaker picked her up they made idle chit chat all the way to the restaurant.
He let her choose. She showed him one of her favorite spots. Best pho you could find around.
They shut that place down. Best conversation of her life. Bella had never laughed so freely and from the belly like that in her life.
He was kind and funny. Witty line Bella and appreciated her dark humour. His lips were soft and his eyes for only her. Bella didn’t realize it yet but there was a calm settling in her soul that would make life feel easy for a change.
His voice was smooth and clear and lively, just like his eyes. It was something Bella didn’t even know she’d been looking for.
They complimented each other in the best of ways.
When they kissed that night, for a brief moment the world stopped and all sound ceased.
It was magnificent.
With that kiss another string disintegrated in the disentanglement of Bella and Linus.
The clouds floating over her head as the storm rolled in. It was a good relflection of how Bella was feeling about the last year. She wasn’t sure what was worse, that she knew she would feel this way or the can’t that…..
She always stopped there. Because she wasn’t sure finish that sentence. All Bella wanted was someone she could tell her secret to because it was eating her alive. The overwhelming fucking regret some days was enough to bring her to her knees.
And she wasn’t even sure why she felt this way or why she felt this way.
Well that’s what she told herself. But Bella knew. She couldn’t forgive herself for watching her heart walk away that day.
Of course at the time she didn’t m is she was. She had no idea that particular hug was to be the last, or that particular kiss was the last she would taste his sweet lips or feels his strong arms around her. That she was to never see that smile that made her heart jump ever again.
The Toymaker was her person. She stumbled upon him at The Boundary and it was like no other before. The world has stopped and when it started again, everytjimg about them fell together almost flawlessly. There was a comfort she had never known. He adored her for exactly who she was.
When they were together the weight she carried felt lighter. She felt peace like she had never even imagined was possible for her. Her soul rested with him.
And she could tell, she could feel it was the same for him.
And unknowingly, that day at least, she let him go.
With his departure, he took a piece of Bella. A piece she would forever feel the absence of.
In this particular situation it had been his arrival in her life that had cut away a string in the disentanglement of Bella and Linus.
It took a year, a long year of happy and sad and struggle and joy. Oh, the struggle. But she finally knew, Bella finally had her answer.
The question; “had she made the right choice?”
Now she knew.
She had gone against a feeling so strong she could feel it in her soul and it was eating her alive.
It fervently ate another string in the disentanglement of Bella and Linus.