Tag: relationships

Come and Go

One day long ago she watched her heart walk away under a trilby hat.

Bella didn’t know that when he walked away. She didn’t know that was the last hug, the last kiss, the Last picture to be taken.

The last laugh.

The last time she would hear his voice.

Somedays she was not sure who left who. Those are the happier days. On the days where the sun hides behind the clouds, or near certain dates she felt more she left him. Bella ghosted away and hoped that the feeling would fade and with time the memory would become more of just that. A memory, dulled with time.

It still feels new, she can remember it like it happened last week. It’s always fresh and too new and every time if she dare to seek it, she can find where there is a spot empty in her soul. The piece that she gave Mr Trilby, the toymaker, that he kept.

It’s a different kind of empty. Bella knows she will never be whole and nothing will ever fill that space. She may well be forever incomplete.

And also, with him taken, another string in the disentanglement of Bella and Linus

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´╗┐Dang Good Date

It had been a long time since Bella had gone on a date and she didn’t know what to expect.

When the toymaker picked her up they made idle chit chat all the way to the restaurant.

He let her choose. She showed him one of her favorite spots. Best pho you could find around.

They shut that place down. Best conversation of her life. Bella had never laughed so freely and from the belly like that in her life.

He was kind and funny. Witty line Bella and appreciated her dark humour. His lips were soft and his eyes for only her. Bella didn’t realize it yet but there was a calm settling in her soul that would make life feel easy for a change.

His voice was smooth and clear and lively, just like his eyes. It was something Bella didn’t even know she’d been looking for.

They complimented each other in the best of ways.

When they kissed that night, for a brief moment the world stopped and all sound ceased.

It was magnificent.

With that kiss another string disintegrated in the disentanglement of Bella and Linus.

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Somethings Are Better said with the lights out

There’s something to be said about the battles Bella had fought. The years spent in humbling realness doing all she could to keep herself from starvation and homelessness. There’s something to be said about the people who stood by and watched it happen. But she wasn’t about to say anything, she did the “adult” thing, she cut them out accordingly. Using whichever method got the job done best for that particular situation. Some were easy some were tough. Sometimes time did the job for her, others, she had to say those cutting but true things,

Bella had worked hard to survive so she had to ask herself, “How the fuck did I end up here… again?”

This thought made her ponder dark thoughts. Was she the problem? Well yes, to some extent. Was she the reason for the misery around her? Again, a little perhaps.

She sat there staring blankly as her mind, somewhere else, put the pieces together. Everyone around her over time seemed to get over her, feel a strong desire to be free of her. She felt like a heavy burden. She sat there, she thought more on how she could fix this mess she found herself. She could only come up with one not so clean, but at least tidy solution.

There’s something to be said in regaining control of one’s life, no matter how dark or permanent.

With that comforting notion, she wrote another letter. The ink from her pen wrote away yet another string in the disentaglement of Bella and Linus

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