Nose

He left her alone. Sadly it took longer than it should have for her to realize it, he was leaving her alone. Everyday for as long as he could. Avoidance, on a monumental scale. In the house he had moved her into without Nose’s permission.

They sat there for months before Nose admitted that he knew. She was thankful to not explain, mostly due to the embarrassment that it took Nose saying something for it to finally sink in. She did not realize it at the time, but this was Nose trying to help her feel better. Bella had unknowingly become one of Nose’s closest friends. She had been so lost in her own mind and worried about being a bother to him, that she had failed to see that he had actually went in the other direction.

Throughout Linus’ continuous abandonment Nose and Bella had been almost forced to spend every minute other than sleep, together. Not once had they fought or been short with each other. In fact, they had shared many fits of laughter and gained a large selection of inside jokes. Nose and Bella had exchanged the saddest and most private of moments from their lives all while turning around and laughing in the same breathe.

I believe it was safe to say that Nose and Bella had in fact become best friends.

A bond that had broken yet another string in the disentanglement of Bella and Linus

Lights Lit with Gasoline

She sat there listing all the ways she could validate her feelings. Nose had even confirmed that Bella was right to feel that way. So why did she think maybe she was the problem? She quickly scrapped that notion. Dwelling would not fix this relationship.

Bella began listing in her mind all the ways she could improve. Every once in a while her mind would wander away and she would imagine him coming to realize the mistake he had made, which would then trigger her to see how her feeling this shitty and unable to voice it to him in a way he might believe her this time.

Bella gave her head a shake. No! she needed to focus on the current problem. Her. She needed to fix herself to fix this. If she changed herself to fit his mold this would be better. It was not hard, so why couldn’t she just do it?

And just like that another string burned away in the disentanglement of Bella and Linus

Dang Good Date

It had been a long time since Bella had gone on a date and she didn’t know what to expect.

When the toymaker picked her up they made idle chit chat all the way to the restaurant.

He let her choose. She showed him one of her favorite spots. Best pho you could find around.

They shut that place down. Best conversation of her life. Bella had never laughed so freely and from the belly like that in her life.

He was kind and funny. Witty line Bella and appreciated her dark humour. His lips were soft and his eyes for only her. Bella didn’t realize it yet but there was a calm settling in her soul that would make life feel easy for a change.

His voice was smooth and clear and lively, just like his eyes. It was something Bella didn’t even know she’d been looking for.

They complimented each other in the best of ways.

When they kissed that night, for a brief moment the world stopped and all sound ceased.

It was magnificent.

With that kiss another string disintegrated in the disentanglement of Bella and Linus.

596

Until It Wasn’t

She wanted to save him. Not like how other girls mean it. Bella wasn’t aiming to be the girl who changed him and then cried when he broke her heart. She wanted to show him he was more than his wallet or his connections. That he wasn’t dispensable and that someone could and did love him for who he was.

Bella saw him in his most real form. Sure he presented as happy and he wanted everyone to think that. But she could see the sadness in his eyes, the loneliness. He was just waiting for the day she didn’t answer her phone or stood him up.

That was never in the cards.

She loved him from the moment he sat down beside her and said hello. He loved her too. His eyes lit up when he saw Bella.

When they were together they were the closest thing to who they really were that they could be. Relaxed and no one else in the world mattered. It made no difference the story exchanged or the shitty pasts.

For a time it was the truest, most tangible piece of anything Bella had had in a very long time. It was wonderful. Until it wasn’t, of course.

thefool
The fool. Full colorful deck, major arcana. The old tarot card, vintage hand drawn engraved illustration with mystic symbols. Man in costume of harlequin jumping through abyss. Joker and cat.

Oh Holidays, holidays, HOLIDAYS!!!

I took a quick look back at this blog I had thought was dead (mostly because I couldn’t figure out how to use it on an iPad -you can stop smirking now- and briefly looked back at previous, very old blogs I had posted. And wow, soooo bitter and kinda funny. And now that I have tooted my own horn and can move on with my day I wanted to touch on Christmas. Honestly, we’re about a little passed half ways between it and for anyone, by which I mean everyone, who hadn’t read my previous post; I had written about a rather dismal one just over ago where I had promised to get drunk at the next one. I also complained about wanting a big one again.
Well let me tell you, I did both of those things and it was AWESOME. But because I’m not seventeen and I am sure no one wants to hear about drunken Christmas, I’m gonna get behind the reasons as to how it unfolded. Being a year later and having improved my quality of life somewhat I wanted to make up to my kids for the not so great previous one and for once relax about a holiday that can be tear inducing sometimes. this is not the booze part by the way,that comes later
My children love this family togetherness. I personally am not a huge fan honestly, if you’ve watched Springer, you have seen the potential for most of my family. Haha! oh if I couldn’t laugh at myself….
That being said, I figured why not invite my parents to this Christmas. We’ve all had a rough year and I thought my dad shouldn’t be alone, the kids wanted to spend time with their grandparents and the whole idea makes a person put more effort into the whole thing. The only downside…. My mother would be there. Now don’t get sensitive about moms here. I am well aware that most mothers are freaking awesome individuals and lots of people love and adore their moms. That’s great, the way it should be. Just not how I feel about my own. We have a lot of bad blood and no it’s just from me being an asshole teenager. My father is great.
This is where the drinking comes in
Now preemptively I had booze ready. I had invited a friend over for Christmas Because other wise she would be alone and my boyfriend, which at this time was still a new relationship. As in no one had dropped an L-bomb new, because I had invited my friend and apparently it would have been in bad taste to invite her and not even mention it to him. I don’t know, I never really dated. This was news to me!
At any rate I also prepared myself for the nightmare that spending A LOT of time with my mother in close quarters would entail. And the fact that these people I hold dear would meet my father, with whom it’s important he at least can tolerate the people I like, and my mother to whom can scare away the people of whom I like.

CURRENTLY:

Like a previous post I made earlier, this is rather old, that Christmas was in 2013 and its not half way through 2015. I know where I was going with this, I was going to rant about my mother, say caring things about my father and reflect on the patience of one of my bes friends and my boyfriend at the time. Not now.

From then until now many, many things have happened. I am no longer the boyfriend from this story, and my very good friend has had a lot of crap thrown her way and is in a very different place. I myself have seen much change. And most importantly, my mother passed away earlier this year. And as much I have somethings I wish to say about her, they shouldn’t be the drunken, bitter feelings I had on this occasion.

For the most part this was a great day for myself, my children and everyone else who was there. And I think it should be remembered that way. Despite the all of it and how it all turned out today, that was one of the best days of my life. I’m going to leave on here as such

Forever teaching you how not to live your life.

Mz. R. E.

759

Single Shenigans

You ever want an excuse to make as many stupid and or bad decisions as you can in a short period of time? Two words “Single Shenanigans”. This whole idea I came up with a few years ago that started with a ghetto party. Let me tell you, wait….. No. You don’t need the greasy details of what happened. Just know that is it was probably the best and worst idea I have ever come with. And I can only say best because the outcome from it for both me and the other participant are fantastic.
Now the premise and rules of Single Shenanigans; mmmm…. There are none really. It started because we were both newly single and and weren’t ready to accept spinsterhood or crazy cat lady status. And honestly I believe that we just wanted to let our freak flags fly proudly, openly and without regret for as long as possible.

It was a crazy time that mainly consisted of me calling her up, instructing her she had only a few minutes to complete whatever it was she was doing before I would be there to pick her up and take her to places unknown to complete a night of unplanned shenanigans. It was only a year of this sort of activity, but in those fast paced months of little to no sobriety we managed to wake up in a different town, pass finals, party in the ghetto ghetto style and find those weirdos on Whyte that in the heat of the moment seem like the perfect party companions. We consumed more booze than any human should and definitely partook in our fair share of debauchery.

The end result was amazing. Reconnected with old friends, made lots of new friends, spent many weekends at the beach, many week night at the dodgiest of dodgy watering holes, planned a trip to Australia that ended up being a semi permanent move and making some of the best memories of my life.

When the dust settled we were not tired, but ready and fully energized to continue our lives in new and much more amazing ways and we did.

So here’s to myself and the little mermaid. We may now be half way across the world apart, but I wouldn’t change a minute. Single Shenanigans were single handedly the best decision we ever made.

Until we meet again may your beer always be cold and full and the sun warm and welcoming.

Continuing to teach you how NOT to live your life

The Late Mz. R.E.

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