This one would be lost of her own volition. Her temper had unexpectedly began to flare up when she least expected it. It was ferocious and indiscriminate. This time she woudl take it out on herself, holed up in her room. Hiding from the world spiralling into oblivion.
What the fuck had happened? When had she lost control?
When had she lost herself?
Bambam laid in her bed, lost in the deep dark. Not only was there no light to be seen, it wasn’t evem in her stratosphere.
When had this happened? She found that she couldn’t remember when she didn’t feel this way, but she couldn’t remember when she fell into the abyss.
She was the frog in the pot dying the death of the slow boil. Fuck, she was so tired. Just so fucking deeply exhausted that she could feel in her bones. She wasn’t even half way through high school. What the actual fuck.
She began to sob and covered her face with her pillow and screamed with rage into the void.
That exhaustion that brought out all her worst pieces of her was called “Soul Fatigue”. She really was that immenssly tired. It is not uncommon in her family, Unfortunately that particular sickness prevents the person afflicted to be able to talk about it. It also causes an incredible heavy isolation and rahter quickly. You see, if Bambam had been able she could have, and believe me when I say she would have, she could’ve went to her mother.
Had she, this would be a very different chapter, because Bella would have told her daughter that she too suffered from Soul Fatigue. Her mother would have hugged close and tight and made sure Bambam knew she wasn’t alone, unfortunately this was not the case.
Instead two similar souls laid in the same spot on different floors fighting the same lonely battle, trying to appear normal for the other.
This is a rather sad stop in the Journey that is the Tale of Bambam the Brave. Its okay if you need, to take a break for a moment.
We all need to be more kind to ourselves.
Cheers
B.