She was tired of hearing “you should smile more”, “you should show your face more”
You should do this and you should do that.” She was tired of trying to please people. Especially people who really did not give a shit about her.
She just wanted to be left alone and to disappear. She was tired of being sad. Tired of being mad. Tired of being tired. She didn’t want to live her life this way, but she didn’t know how to make it stop or change it. But, fuck was she exhausted.
She had one bright spot. Her little sister Ella.
That girl was sunshine, she was the body incarntion of good vibes only. She was ray on sunlight and shone everywhere she went. Bambam was the raincloud to her sunshine. They were yin and yang and together were a complete set, Bambam felt for lack of a better word, blessed to be her shadow even though she was the older sister.
Her mother was there too, the flame that could kill the darkness with her fire. Bambam felt safe and secure when she was with her. Her mother was the only one who truly saw her. All the same she was her mother and biased when it came to some of the things that Bambam needed to say which made it all the harder some days.
She knew that her mother wished for her to be happy but she still felt alone in a crowded room.
She didn’t want to be mad anymore.
She didn’t want to be numb anymore.
She didn’t want to be young and sad.
How was she supposed to keep on this journey in this wild tale? How was she supposed to be Bambam the Brave?