Somethings Are Better said with the lights out

There’s something to be said about the battles Bella had fought. The years spent in humbling realness doing all she could to keep herself from starvation and homelessness. There’s something to be said about the people who stood by and watched it happen. But she wasn’t about to say anything, she did the “adult” thing, she cut them out accordingly. Using whichever method got the job done best for that particular situation. Some were easy some were tough. Sometimes time did the job for her, others, she had to say those cutting but true things,

Bella had worked hard to survive so she had to ask herself, “How the fuck did I end up here… again?”

This thought made her ponder dark thoughts. Was she the problem? Well yes, to some extent. Was she the reason for the misery around her? Again, a little perhaps.

She sat there staring blankly as her mind, somewhere else, put the pieces together. Everyone around her over time seemed to get over her, feel a strong desire to be free of her. She felt like a heavy burden. She sat there, she thought more on how she could fix this mess she found herself. She could only come up with one not so clean, but at least tidy solution.

There’s something to be said in regaining control of one’s life, no matter how dark or permanent.

With that comforting notion, she wrote another letter. The ink from her pen wrote away yet another string in the disentaglement of Bella and Linus

choices

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