It’s that deep down in your soul understanding of “almost doesn’t count”. The overwhelming knawing disappointment in the realization that you’re just not quite accepted. You’re just the seat filler.
You’ve been talked at, but without the condescending tone. Lived your whole life not ever really trying to belong because you could just feel you didn’t and it would be wasted effort.
That moment you realize you’re in a full room and no one has noticed you.
Or forgotten you were ever there.
It’s the reason you’ve read so many books, learned to enjoy your own company.
Oh loneliness how we’ve come to be such great friends.