Not Quite Whole

What a strange path I took to find my heart.

It has been a strange journey for Mz. R.E.

The things I’ve done and seen, the mortal boundaries both thoughtfully and carefully pushed. I have not had any lasting regrets.

WHOA! Whoa! whoa! Let’s just just halt that weepy Fucken pity party about to be started. 

Also, I have a huge list of anecdotal proof of fucking regrets and whoopsy-doodles. I just repress them like all you other normal folk. Bottle that shit up and add it to the fiery inferno that fuels my temper. 

It’s great being me. 

Oh! And those mortal boundaries were not thoughtfully or carefully pushed. I plunged in like jumping into the deep end at the pool when you don’t know how to swim. 

I started this post a few months ago and I was must’ve been pregnant or unknowingly on DMT or something. 

Holy fuck I have lived crazily and wrecklessly. I have had no regard for my own mortality and did not care for others feelings either. Fuck that noise! I hustled and burned bridges openly and without regret and cut ties with shitty people and partied my ass off. Literally. So thin. So hot. 

And I fell down the rabbit hole and hated myself and recovered and did it all again. Queen of sadism and self saboteur extraordinaire. 

Know what? I did find my heart. That missing piece of my soul. Perfect fucking contentment. I was content and at peace. The inferno was barely smouldering. 

Know what else? I let that go. 

I Fucken ghosted like a bitch and that shit is haunting. The inferno has never been so hot. 

Don’t fucking do that. Ever. 

Forever teaching you how to not live your life. 

The Late Mz.R.E

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