She always fucking knew!! HOW?! What is this magical mom power where she always just fucken knew?! HOW WAS BAMBAM SUPPOSED TO TELL SOMEONE WHO ALREADY KNEW?!

Why was she nervous about her decision? Was there any reason for her mom to be against it? That didn’t sound like the Bella who birthed her. So why was she sweating like a fat kid at diet camp? Fuck, once she actually stopped and looked at herself, she kind of looked like the fat kid at diet camp.

Hand to god she kind of thought she was getting fat from all the drinking she had been doing all summer.

Drowning the ole problems cliché. Heh heh, fuck.

She sat in her cousins living room looking at the positive pregnancy test.

In the famous last words of her matriarch “Well, Fuck.”

Eventually Bambam had to go home and she operated on the periphery, her mother sensing something was off, checking in now and again. Bambam assuredly lied that everything was fine and her mother knowing she was lying…

Let her. Such was the way with information collecting from Bambam.

The universe must have been smiling down on her because her mother told her about a friends birthday party at a local pub that she wanted to take Bambam and Beau to, “to freak everyone out.” were her exact words.

“Come on, let your mother get you a little hammered with people that only knew you as a child and forget that I have grown kids” She cackled.

Bella didn’t raise any child that would turn down the free version of something they enjoyed. HA!

So they went and Bambam got sloshed and as she sat on the toilet on an adjoining stall to her mother she slurred and giggled

“I have something I need to tell you”

“oh?” she could see her mom’s eyebrow raise in that it’s about time way she always did. It was the only way she could stop herself from blurting out what you were about to tell her and Bambam appreciated that.

“So, I am pregnant” she said with all the courage 4 triple vodka crans could give her.

“I knew that alreadyd, and I assume by your state that you want to get an smubsmorshmin?”

“yes”

“okie dokie, I will make a call on Monday and get it sorted”

Bambam breathed a giant sigh of relief, pretty certain she also get more drunk, and they exited the bathroom.

On Monday her mom did make the call and through some sure steps, positive reinforcement and promise of food when she was done. Bambam got her smubsmorshmin.

She confidently assured the nurse that this was her idea nd the idea of not having a baby gave her immense joy. Much to the shock of the medical staff.

She had a wildly unexpected good afternoon.

She got to make good bad jokes.

She got the good drugs.

She has a good mom who took her to A&W afterword.

Well the drivethru, and got her all the things she didn’t even know she needed and she laughed at her terrible jokes. As Bambam laid her head against the passenger side window eating her french fries, she knew it was a good day.

It wasn’t the drugs either. Okay maybe it was the drugs a little. Regardless it was a good day for Bambam the Brave