What a goddamn blur self destruction could be. It was and wasn’t as fun as Bella remembered. This time felt more deliberately painful.
And so very dark. It had never been this dark before. Bella was used to Dark Days, but nothing like this.
This was ever so painful. Being awake felt like razorblades scraping the inside of her brain while the rest of her was completely numb. A perfect cocktail named Hopelessness.
It was becoming so much that Bella was seeking out the destruction, fueled by the desire to chip away at her existence until there was nothing left. Because how could she suffer if she was nothing.
Problem was, she already felt like nothing. The universr had repeatedly knocked her back down. No matter how well she was doing. It was there ready to remind her of her place. Ready to ensure Bella not only knew, but felt exactly her worth.
This time however, Bella saw the signs and decided she would beat it to the punch. Go down in flaming glory. Beautfully painful, flaming glory.
What the hell, she would take Linus down with her. He started this after all.
As she plummeted deeper into despair she snapped away another string in the disentanglement of Bella and Linus.