Bella read the leaflet over and over. The side effects, what the medication was for. Looking for something to give her the push she needed to just open the bottle and take one. Over and over she read the unfolded piece of paper her doctor had given her.
As she sat there she thought back to the moment that had brought her there…
He had stood there and told her she was crazy. Now he didn’t come right out and say it in those words. Linus liked to use an eloquence that bordered condescension. He like big syllables and smooth tones.
He also like to project his own bullshit. But Bella was too lost to see that, so she listened. Heard the words “anxious”, “sad”, “you” and she felt it.
She was convinced that she in fact should go see her doctor. Something her instincts were screaming against. But fuck she was desperate for him to love her. To show her the love he once had. At this point she was open to do damn near anything if it meant that he would love her again.
“I think we both need to get help” he said slowly and quietly. Linus put his hand on her shoulder in a motion of patronizing care. Bella didn’t see it though. She wanted to believe so bad that he still cared for her.
Maybe if she got the help that Linus said she needed this would be the thing that could fix this. He would see that she cared too and he would magically remeber how he felt about her.
So she sat there staring at the pill bottle, filled with the magic that would repair her and Linus.
For what ever reason, Bella could not bring herself to take one. Something, probably her better judgement, was stopping her.
It felt as though her hands were bound to that bottle.
Bound so tightly with another string from the disentanglement of Bella and Linus that it broke away.